Beginning

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IT’S BEEN A DARK YEAR. At 45, with a beautiful wife and two amazing sons, I’ve had a good life. I’ve worked in the same profession, education, for over 17 years, nine years as a teacher and eight as an administrator. I’ve been successful in my career, having been an extremely hard and focused worker. Depression, anxiety, and insomnia have always been my close companions, but I’ve had the grit to “power through it.”. Over the past year, I’ve had two breakdowns, the second of which I am just beginning to recover from. I am taking a second medical leave from work. I received a new diagnosis of Bipolar 2 and have been adjusting to medications to regulate my mood and lift my abysmal depression. What a difficult, confusing, and at times, demoralizing ride.

And yet, life goes on. This is an exploration of just that…life going on. I have no idea what the outcome will be. The impact on my family, professional life, friendships, and the future are, undeniably uncertain. But I am optimistic that, although I wouldn’t have chosen this struggle, there is much to learn from it.

If you live with mental illness or love someone who does, you may find this blog helpful, or at the very least, informative. While I created this site primarily for the purpose of my own understanding and healing, if it served as a benefit to anyone suffering from mental illness, nothing would please me more. Suffering that promotes connection, empathy, knowledge, and compassion, is a price well worth the sacrifice.  And it is through these collective attributes that we might hear the bellowing angels calling us to safety.

 

Optimistically…

J.